He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
birth control should be required to get into college
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
