Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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