all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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