happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
