I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
