yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
me + whiskey = a bad person
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
