Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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