I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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