her vagina looked like bernie madoff
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
