i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
