what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
