Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
