Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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