If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Operation Purity has been aborted
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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