Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
did you just send me my own nude
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Randomize
