her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
