saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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