oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
