Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
