I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
