butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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