I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
