Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
