She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize