the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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