Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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