Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
