When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
operation have a gay friend backfired
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
