The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize