how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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