I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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