I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
