I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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