Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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