you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
