So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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