I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
