Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
