I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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