How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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