do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
