Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
