The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
it's like heaven, but drunker
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize