wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
