I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
