But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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