Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
