WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
