I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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