So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
