Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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