guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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