A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I met the friendliest cop last night
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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