im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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