you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
