I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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