And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
