sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
