Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
