doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
