The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize